tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post1975982071493161247..comments2017-10-15T14:11:49.786+02:00Comments on Of Orcs and Men: ZirKai Delmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-10387511157645444982015-04-19T20:16:59.150+02:002015-04-19T20:16:59.150+02:00Always remember that tastes will differ, so what d...Always remember that tastes will differ, so what didn't work well for me might work very well for others, so if it feels right to you, it's more important. I might be in the minority.Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11749647252820873758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-58923422659793454292015-04-17T16:50:54.306+02:002015-04-17T16:50:54.306+02:00That's too bad. I really enjoyed writing this ...That's too bad. I really enjoyed writing this post and it felt right to me. I sort of see what you mean, but I don't know how I could have written it differently and still brought Zir to life the way I imagined him.<br /><br />Again too much telling and too little showing. The thorn in my "fingers". I'll definitely go through the post again before I write the next and I'll see how I can improve. ;)<br /><br />Thanks for the critique. As always, much appreciated. ;)Kai Delmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-45306460568835949672015-04-17T14:40:29.197+02:002015-04-17T14:40:29.197+02:00Zir is, like Dax, an interesting Orc because he is...Zir is, like Dax, an interesting Orc because he is different. I like that, much as I like Dax. But I feel like you laid the nature motif on a bit thick. I had an inkling about Zir when you write "Nature would take care of him", but from then on, it becomes painfully obvious that Zir is a tree-hugger. You shouldn't make things so obvious - put more trust in your readers. They'll figure Zir out without it all being laid bare.<br /><br />That being said, once I thought there was too much detail (like this part: "They all tugged on his knee-length hair to test if it was real and ask him why he was wearing tree bark on his arms and had vines wrapped around him." - this would have been perfect if there hadn't been so much of the same before), my enjoyment of Zir was dampened a good deal.<br /><br />He's a loony guy (or likes to mess with people, I'm not entirely sure, but probably the latter) and that's a good thing, especially because he's respected all the same (think of a trickster character, the Weasley twins perhaps - always up to no good, and definitely odd, but respected by all, if grudgingly by some). <br /><br />I perked up when I read "Zirayus" and had to think a bit where I'd read it before, and it's the URL, of course :)<br /><br />Ferkud is a bit of a dunce, but that's to be expected - hierarchies are always full of shit in such stories.<br /><br />Not your best entry, I'm sorry to say, despite the interesting character. Too little showing, too much telling, and the telling was too in-your-face for my taste... Sorry!Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11749647252820873758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-64600269856968384652015-04-16T14:57:22.350+02:002015-04-16T14:57:22.350+02:00Thank you, too. Greetings back!Thank you, too. Greetings back!Kai Delmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-52274302496833738112015-04-16T14:56:56.375+02:002015-04-16T14:56:56.375+02:00Thank you! ;)Thank you! ;)Kai Delmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-32592356193177766502015-04-16T14:46:05.421+02:002015-04-16T14:46:05.421+02:00wow... you writer well. greetings from Kenya wow... you writer well. greetings from Kenya Numero Unohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03440460786191985286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-46297797508991081312015-04-16T14:29:17.679+02:002015-04-16T14:29:17.679+02:00Good writing Good writing TeekhiMirchihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06395112051195802960noreply@blogger.com