tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post2017866602275592708..comments2017-10-15T14:11:49.786+02:00Comments on Of Orcs and Men: MextaKai Delmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-18388886947462345822014-08-01T15:42:15.562+02:002014-08-01T15:42:15.562+02:00I'm sure Grodun didn't do the killing hims...I'm sure Grodun didn't do the killing himself. He just gave the order... or am I thinking too much like a human? There's hope for Big John yet! Da bin ich aber mal gespannt. :)Beekerfacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01651197543031205707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-33647199615637424872014-07-25T00:24:05.738+02:002014-07-25T00:24:05.738+02:00Interesting points you make. I don't really wa...Interesting points you make. I don't really want to make any changes to what I've posted now, maybe sometime in the future, but not yet. The point about the use of the word "fury" and its explanation is a good one. It's not necessary, I just added it while I was writing for clarification, but it reads more smoothly without. Thanks. ;)<br /><br />I had some trouble with Mexta's wording at the end. Too bad you noticed. ^^' When I was writing it, it seemed alright. Not super, but alright. now when I look at it, I know what you mean with it feeling forced. Maybe that does deserve a correction. I'll think about that.<br /><br />And to Grodun really being the rider who shot Marla, that could be a lie. My main thought was to add a little bit more of Orc culture/military customs. But I ended the post where I did on purpose. This way things may seem one way, but can later be explained as actually being something else. ;)<br /><br />Thanks for the comments!Kai Delmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-26701623328526100432014-07-24T16:31:18.728+02:002014-07-24T16:31:18.728+02:00Well. He's not dead yet. If he doesn't die...Well. He's not dead yet. If he doesn't die, the question is what will happen with him? There's tons of interesting stuff there.<br /><br />A few thoughts: "Mexta was the only fury in this band of Orcs. The only female warrior." - that second sentence, I would get rid of it. It's too on the nose. Explaining right away what it means is not only contrary to what came before ("broods" and "grunts" weren't explained, either, if I recall correctly), it's also unnecessary. Trust your readers, they'll figure it out.<br /><br />Mexta's little speech at the end felt a bit forced, and also a bit wordy (vengeful is an odd word to use, but perhaps it's normal in the world you're building - for me, it felt off).<br /><br />Also, did Grodun really kill Big John's wife? I'm unconvinced, really... Why does Big John simply accept it? It it a sense of honor about Mexta? Is it that Big John couldn't see anyone, even Orcs, lying to his face? Lots to wonder about. Good chapter.Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11749647252820873758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555136190302766593.post-45088549063730710532014-07-24T16:12:07.318+02:002014-07-24T16:12:07.318+02:00I had hoped that more people would comment and wou...I had hoped that more people would comment and would try to save Big John. Alas, maybe it's too early and there just aren't enough readers that will comment yet. <br /><br />Anyway, it was the first try of many more to come in which you, the readers/minions, can influence the story. I hope you keep on reading and keep on commenting, so that the story can go on. ;)Kai Delmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14913623803715499069noreply@blogger.com