Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Damien

Chancellor Damien and his guards arrived at noon. The attack on the Orc settlement had already been performed by Captain Bron. From afar everything looked satisfactory. Tents and huts were afire and many bodies of those grisly beasts could be seen scattered about. Only when Damien and his men came closer did he see their own casualties.
     Too many dead and wounded. They were supposed to slaughter these ghastly women and their hell spawn. How could so many have put up a fight? He didn't understand these beasts, but it seems he and the commander had both underestimated their strength.
One of Captain Bron's scouts came riding towards him. "Chancellor Damien, sir! The settlement is ours."
     "I can see that. Take me to Captain Bron!"
     "Sir... he was wounded during the fighting."
     "Is he conscious?"
     "Yes, sir!"
     "Then take me to him. Now!"
     "Yes, sir!" The scout rode off. Damien and his men followed.
     A tent for the wounded had been set up outside the settlement. More and more of the men who had taken injuries were heading towards it. Guards were posted by the entrance. They stood at attention as soon as they saw Damien arrive.
     "He's inside. May I return to my post, sir? Who knows if the Orcs will retaliate." The scout rained in his horse, but seemed eager to get back. That was good. He knew his duty.
     "Yes, yes. Go ahead, soldier." Damien got down from his horse and entered the tent. His men stayed outside. Maybe that would help the other two guards stay at attention.
     The tent reeked of blood and other bodily fluids. Why had so many been wounded. This was supposed to be an easy victory. Damien discovered Captain Bron in the back, a bandage around his chest and his head and one arm in a sling. He got up from his cot and stood at attention.
     "Chancellor, sir! Does the commander have more orders?" He seemed fit enough, even though he must have taken quite a beating.
     "Camp here and have your scouts keep an eye on the mines. You might want to fortify the camp with ditches and stakes. Who knows how those beasts will react to our advances."
     "Yes, sir. Those of my men that are able are already digging. The commander can rely on us, sir."
     "I also wanted to hear a detailed account of how the attack went. I can see that there are more casualties than I and the commander expected. Can you tell me how this happened?"
     "Sir... maybe we could step outside for a moment?" The captain looked around at his wounded men. He seemed uneasy talking about the fight in front of them. Damien couldn't understand why, but he nodded his consent. Captain Bron threw a jacket over his shoulders, covering the bandaged ribs and the sling.
     They left the tent together and headed towards the settlement. Damien's guards held a respectable distance. As they got closer, Damien could see more and more of the Orc bodies. Their swamp-like skin color mixed with the red of their blood. That and their frozen, dead faces set in anguish made them look even more like hideous demons of nature.
     "It happened early on during the fighting." Captain Bron began as they were finally out of earshot from others. "There was a male Orc still in the camp. He knocked me off my horse... I'm lucky he didn't kill me. Unlike the ten he did kill or maim, before he escaped."
     "You're telling me you let that beast get away?" How could such a thing manage all that? Ten soldiers, defeated by one of them.
     "They are smarter and stronger than you would think. Even the women fought hard and killed several. Quite a few escaped with their children as well."
     "Don't compare their kind with ours. They are beasts, all of them. Understood, Captain?"
     "Yes, sir!" Captain Bron stood at attention. He seemed tense, but he was a good man. A good soldier.
     "Good. Now, do you have anything you want me to tell the commander? I'll be on my way again immediately."
     "My men were well trained, but they had no chance against a grown male Orc. If this turns into a war, sir. Then we need to be better prepared. We need to train men that can fight these..."
     "Beasts!" Damien realized that the captain didn't like calling them that, but that's what they were. "I will inform the commander. We will have to begin training immediately. You've assumed correctly. This was only the beginning and war is coming!"

5 comments:

  1. Hmm, not sure I'm buying the Chancellor.... he seems a little two-dimensional or possibly he has a two-dimensional worldview and I simply don't care to be interested in him ;)
    Either way, excited to find out how the story proceeds!

    Minion N° 3

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    1. So you don't like Damien. That's okay. Maybe I should have put more effort into his character, but it is only the third post. The story is just beginning. I know that I've made the humans look mor elike the bad guys here, but there will be more likable humans soon and some orcs that are less likable.
      I'll see if I can expand on Damien's character and make him more "likable" or maybe just more interesting. At the moment he was basically just supposed to be a dick. Anyway, if things don't work out and nobody really likes reading about Damien, well then.... off with his head. xD

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  2. Oh, I like your attitude, boss! :D

    Seriously though, I personally just don't care for the dickhead characters, even if the are multi-layered. I do acknowledge though that they serve a purpose in the story arc, even if their bits don't interest me.
    For example, I was never interested in Harry Potter's Dolores Umbridge. I'd say she's a stereotypical dick and she is massively important to the storyline, yet I never wondered about her past or motivation and didn't look forward to the next Umbridge scene. I just accepted that the story needed a dickhead and that it was her.
    Guess the same is true for your Chancellor Damien (awesome name by the way) and I know that many people enjoy such characters, I'm just not one of them ;)
    When it comes to bad guys, I prefer Snape-like characters (sticking to the HP comparison here), that you love to hate and always kind of wonder about.
    A story can have both :)

    Minion N° 3

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  3. I agree with the Queen of Snow, even though her name is Barbie, which is weird, but hey ;)

    Damien seems to fulfill a purpose, but as a character, he's not terribly interesting. That's not generally a problem, but make sure that it doesn't become immediately apparent. If readers can see through your writing technique, they will complain about stuff ;)

    That said, I've noticed that the humans are coming off a bit worse, and I see that you confirmed that. The beauty of a multi-layered story is that neither side is simply "right" or "wrong". The problem here, I believe, is a classic - the lower-level soldier (Bron) is righteous and reasonable by comparison, has his doubts about orders, and is generally speaking more of a person, whereas the superior (Damien) is pig-headed, simple-minded and, as the Icy Lady (you will receive nicknames, I believe, from this point on, if I remember doing it on a regular basis!) pointed out, two-dimensional.

    Which begs the question: Did he simply move up the chain of command for being a good yay-sayer, never questioning orders and never thinking for him self? Because if that's so, that does not bode well for the humans in this story.

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    1. Minion Nr. 2,
      as always your criticism is much appreciated and will be taken into consideration. I must admit that so far some of my ideas and characters are just placeholders, like you said, they fulfill a purpose. I am sort of just writing stuff down as I go along. I have a few specific things planned for the future, but at the moment I'm just trying to build a foundation.
      In the long run, the challenge will be to transform these characters and impressions one might have of the humans so far, into a something better and more realistic. That's the whole idea of this blog anyway. I want to write things down and have everyone participate in the story. Together we can find out what's missing and what can make the story better. :)

      I'm almost done with my next post, which will be from an Orcs perspective again. At the moment, they will still look more like the "good guys". But when I get to the next human post, I think I will shed some more positive light on them. You might even get your first taste of the Orcs' bad side.

      P.S. if you're my minions and Barbie/Queen of Snow/Ice Lady gets lots of nicknames then I want some too. So, minions, put your thinking caps on and hit me with a nickname... please! :P

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